Family in science, science in a family

Can two parents with a family pursue both a career in research? That is the question we have pondered with my wife in her nice blog post about our path through research posted on LinedIn and on Czexpats blog (Google Translate makes quite a good job in turning it into your language).

If I were to give a very short summary, I would say the following:

Every magic comes at a price and you have to decide how much you’re willing to pay and sacrifice.

Scientific career is very stressful, and for parents it is more than double.

We choose family life over scientific career.

For me, it is a very simple choice, but not everyone understands. I feel that a more “manly” stance is expected from me; to seize the lead, have grit and fight and compete; to selfishly push myself forward and forward in front of others. But my ways are peaceful, which is often perceived in science as a weakness.

I disagree. I think that the “manly”-acting leaders just make everyone miserable sometimes including themselves. I much prefer working together over constant competition; I see “having a grit” is just a different way of saying “be aggresive”.

In contrast, I beleive that leading with compassion is the right way, as compassion requires inner peace and strength. I perceive such features as qualities that are more typical for women than for men; strong “wo-manly” features.

It takes a great strength to walk your own path to the place, where your heart takes you. Definitely nothing for someone weak.